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Post by Xenorama ™ on May 4, 2006 10:12:57 GMT -8
which one do you think i'll pick?
i'll let George Carlin speak for me, though!
Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.
Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?
In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.
In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.
Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.
And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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Post by RedKing on May 5, 2006 7:31:49 GMT -8
Please! I've HATED football since I was a kid! And while I like baseball alot, you should have had the only pro sport worth watching on the poll-Hockey! It's the only sport left where the stars aren't pampered blowhards who make 17 bazillion dollars a year or have rampant steroid usage or provide poor role models for kids.
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Post by Gwangi on May 5, 2006 14:01:37 GMT -8
Man, I use to be a big, big fan of BOTH sports. That all changed in 1994. The baseball strike that year, which wiped out the World Series, took a lot out of me and it's taken some years get that feeling back.
As for football, living here in Southern California (the greater Los Angeles area), we had both the Rams and Raiders to root for. Then after the '94 season, they left, leaving a big, big void. All of a sudden, games were not as interesting to watch. There was no one to follow anymore. I still love to watch college football though, and root for UCLA and anyone playing against USC ;D. Too bad Keith Jackson has retired though. I'm going to miss that voice and "FUMBLE!" every now and then.
I guess my main sport is basketball, watching an OK Lakers team, a decent Clippers team and a very good UCLA team which went to the Final Four this year.
But since the vote was for baseball or football, I choose baseball, only because we have teams (Angles & Dodgers) to watch and makes it somewhat interesting. Of course, our Governator (Arnold), has said he wants to bring TWO football teams to So. Cal. Let's see what happens there.
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Post by Xenorama ™ on May 5, 2006 15:05:46 GMT -8
as Homer says about baseball... "without beer, this game is really boring!"
by the way, my godfather was the talent coach of the San Diego Clippers for Gene Shue when he coached them in the 80s.
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Post by RedKing on May 8, 2006 10:14:31 GMT -8
OK, Baseball deserves to win for this routine alone. Long after George Carlin has been forgotten people will still be asking Who's On First?
Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.
That routine is hilarious no matter how many times you hear it! Nothing against Carlin, i think he's very funny, but he doesn't even come close here.
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Post by Lunkhead on May 10, 2006 8:15:58 GMT -8
Go Phillies!! Boy, what a sucker I am.   |
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Post by RedKing on May 11, 2006 17:49:49 GMT -8
New York Yankees-team with the most wins ever out of ANY professional sport in history. Plus they have Godzilla playing for them.
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Post by Xenorama ™ on May 11, 2006 21:07:13 GMT -8
only people IN NYC like the Yankees- the rest of the country wants them defeated, all the time! i'm surprised baseball is winning. i like playing ball, but just can't stand watching the game... i mean, i'd rather watch LEGEND OF DINOSAURS again than a baseball game! 
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Post by RoadWarriorYajuta on May 12, 2006 11:43:16 GMT -8
I will take Football. I love baseball but I really get into watching it during the playoffs. I try and not miss football when it is on. One reason I think I am more partial to football is the amount of the games. 16 regular season games as opposed to 162. That means as a general rule the games mean more in Football. To me baseball doesn't start to get interesting until the battle for the Wild Card heats up at the end of the season. Pundits cried about the Wild Card but it has helped hold the interest of the common fan because Division winners usually run away with it so having it gives teams incentive to keep playing hard. I respect the heck out of baseball players, but for the most part football players tend to be more atheletic and the game is just harder hitting which appeals to man's base primal 'Hulk Smash' instincts. They also take a greater risk of sustaining serious injury as opposed to baseball players which makes it easier to respect the risks they take.
I remember my first trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame. They had a section devoted entirely to the Abbot&Costello Who's on First bit with the original recording and a video to watch. It was one of my favorite exhibits at the Hall of Fame because I watched it so much as a child and never expected to see it there.
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Post by RoadWarriorYajuta on May 12, 2006 11:46:04 GMT -8
I agree RedKing, Hockey is da shizzy fo rizzy! It baffles me how Hockey is the red headed step child when it comes to pro US sports. The game is fast moving and hard hitting. The best sport I have ever seen live.
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Post by RedKing on May 26, 2006 22:56:58 GMT -8
Exactly Road Warrior! I'm glad you agree on hockey! Frankly, i find a hockey game far more involving to watch than either baseball or football because it's just so fast and hard! I guess I shoulda been a Canadian eh?
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Post by Gwangi on May 27, 2006 9:02:23 GMT -8
as Homer says about baseball... "without beer, this game is really boring!"
by the way, my godfather was the talent coach of the San Diego Clippers for Gene Shue when he coached them in the 80s. That's cool! Although Shue did lose quite a few games. The Clippers had a good run this season but fell a little short. They will be back next year, and given their history, that is something I thought I would never say about them! And they are still trying to get at least two football teams in the greater L.A. area. One an expansion and the other an existing franchise ready to relocate. But Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys said no to an expansion, so I guess we will have to see which team is ready to relocate to L.A. Once there is a team to root for, then I could follow pro football again. |
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Post by Xenorama ™ on May 27, 2006 12:10:18 GMT -8
the Chargers always throw LA out, when they want to extort more money from the city/county of SD. i say, let 'em go. i hate millionaires wanting other people to pay for their perks. yeesh!
i like playing floor hockey, that's loads of fun. i'd like to do it more.
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